Wife Swap.

One of my favorite shows for the past couple of years just keeps getting crazier and crazier.

It once was an unpredictable show that would have real lessons learned and lives changed forever.

Now it's somehow morphed into a jerry springer show type production.

You almost pray that it's scripted...for the kids sake.

So let me tell you the basic formula for what they do:

Family #1

Usually has money and is well kept with a nice home. They value money, hard work and success.

The mother is emotionally life-less, over bearing and over schedules her kids because she doesn't really know what to do with the void her own dad left her when he fingered her through her pajammas one night. 

The father is always whipped and scared. Married out of his league and he knows it. Cries alone in the bathroom at least once a week.

The kids are always a boy(10) and a girl(14). They have no lives other than school and chores. They look and sound like characters from Children of the Corn. 

This family sometimes has an emotionally abused dog that spends it's life hiding from them in the unfinished section of the basement.   

They are also VERY health conscious. Any where from No fast foods at all to Brown Vegans.

If you don't know, Brown Vegans are a sub class to Vegans. This group of psychos only eat foods that are naturally brown. Like brown rice, nuts and mud. 

Family #2

Lives check to check and on the charity of their poor friends and family. Their house is beyond cluttered and dirty and is probably 3 times mortgaged.  They value 3 things: Fun, Fun, Fun!

The mother is usually the equivalent to a door mat with dog piss on it or a maid in a cheap motel. Does everything for everybody, leaving little time for her own personal hygiene. 

The father is always a man-boy, who may or may not also be a redneck. He does manual labor, loves Budwiser, boobs  and dirt bikes. 

The kids are all mistakes. They scatter in ages because you can't plan a hole in a condom. 

They ALL have pimples, even the babies. 

Lazy and unmotivated.

This family is always the towns party hosts. People love them, they just don't let their kids go over there alone. 

Their diets consist of a wide range of fast foods. From McDonalds to Burger King and even the more exotic Taco Bell. 

It goes without saying that this family is all over weight and borderline albino. 

This family also ALWAYS has a unique characteristic. 

This could range from real witches to a family of pirates to a family that's nocturnal.

Now that you know who the 2 families are, they take the moms and swap them for 2 weeks. 

One goes on a vacation, living in a clean and fancy house, 

while the other goes to stink hell in a trailer park. 

To summarize the rest of the episode goes like this:

Each mother for some reason goes to the other family with a plan and a mission. Do they actually think they are some kind of help guru or something? You are only on the show because the producers thought you were some kind of freak that they could exploit. 

The other family didn't look at your resume and pick you out of thousands of others. 

You were matched together to clash.

And they do clash.

The fights always end with one mother being called a pig or a bitch and 

one of the husbands crying after just being humiliated in some form of punishment. 

Everybody hates everybody and then magically after the third commercial break 

they all realize that they can learn from their insane counterpart. 

After some forced hugs goodbye to their swap families 

each mother returns home to receive some forced hugs from their own families.

It's hilarious when you can tell that one of the families isn't really happy to have the wife home. 

After several weeks the cameras return to see if the families have changed since the swap?

Can you guess if they do?

Of course they change, this is reality tv.

Their lives are forever changed in fact.  

But this ain't that Obama change. 

Most swap families end in divorce and therapy. 

ABC is spinning the show off into:

Wife Swap-Husband Drop.