Teen Cribs - Adult Depression

In these rough economical times we are in, TV programmers 

are responding according by scheduling  thoughtful and helpful shows.

Like, 

Their newest show is TEEN CRIBS.

Cause that's exactly what an out of work loser father of 3 

really needs to see. 

He's in a mid-life crisis, lost his job and is thinking of asking his

mother in-law(who he hates) for help....

He does not need to see that 13 year old Bethany has a bidet in 

her own private bathroom...which she uses to watch her feet. 

Also, you might not be able to buy your son a new basketball, 

but her 9 year old little shit brother, Jared, has his own indoor court. 

Now I'm not saying that people with money shouldn't spend it.

But MTV should be a little more sensitive to the times,

not glamorizing a couple extremely fortunate kids

who did nothing, 

other than fall out of their mothers vagina,

to earn any of the stuff they 

are showing off and claiming to be theirs.

All the show does is force regular loser kids to look

at their regular loser parents and realize that life sux. 

Greek Orthodox Assholes.

This past weekend I celebrated my second favorite Easter,

Greek Easter....or as the natives call it, Greaster.

The Greeks for some reason celebrate the dying and reincarnation

of Jesus a week after everybody else does.

Listen assholes,

If the guy was actually able to die and come back to life once,

what makes you think he's going to want to do it again?

That shit probably hurt even if he knew what he was doing. 

That would be like a magician doing his 

grand finally twice just for the fuck of it. 

How do they celebrate it you may ask?

First they start off by carrying flaming objects

out of the water and onto the dry land. 

This should be done in reverse if you ask me. 

After a long and boring mass they have a feast.

Instead of having an Easter Bunny that gives you eggs,

they have an Easter baby Lamb.

The lamb gives you more than just eggs...

First it impales itself with a wooded pole and then

it roasts itself over hot coals while it lets little

kids poke it with a stick.

The night ends with the elder men dancing around

a sacred plastic cup filled with wine. 

UUMMPPAA!!!

Happy 420!!!

In honor of today's national holiday, 

a couple of pot jokes...

Method Man was recently ordered to rap to kids about the dangers of smoking pot.Yes, the star of “How High” is going tell kids not to do drugs. That’s like having the Kool-Aid man surfing to a tune about the dangers of diabetes.

Scientific studies out of Seattle have reported that not all people with dreadlocks smoke pot. However, they do all smell like pot.

Blind No More.

American Idol finally cut up the sympathy card

of their blind contestant, Scott McIntyre.

He was kicked off in last weeks show.

In other news...

Former American Idol contestant, Scott McIntyre,

has announced that he is no longer blind. 

Fat Asshole

Sorry idiot but your shirt should say....

"I'm a fat asshole who has very few human friends.

I prefer not to shower regularly and 

I have to lift my oversized belly and gunt up, 

just to find my dick."

And is it just me 

or does that look on his face 

make him look like he just farted

and is happy with the smell?

Good Reissue, Bad Reissue.

Norwegian viking metal supergroup, Amon Amarth,

have announced that they will be re-releasing their long sought after

debut album, "The Avenger." 

Really?

Guys, I'm a fan of your art and have a couple of your albums

but be realistic with yourselves...

The holy grail is long sough after, not your crappy sounding and under produced first cd.

Does anyone really want to see the origins of this band?

I'm all for a good reissue of a great album.

Pearl Jam just did it with their masterpiece debut, "Ten."

But the only reason Amon Amarth are doing this is because their 

last album was a critical and commercial success for them.

And when I say commercial success I don't mean it sold millions,

I mean it sold 24,000 copies besting their previous record, 

which only sold 17,000 copies. 

It's so obvious it's just a cheap ploy 

to milk their small fan base out of money.

And look at one of their fans,

haven't they done enough to this kid already?

I'm not sure if it's a he/she or a she/he?