Greek Orthodox Assholes.

This past weekend I celebrated my second favorite Easter,

Greek Easter....or as the natives call it, Greaster.

The Greeks for some reason celebrate the dying and reincarnation

of Jesus a week after everybody else does.

Listen assholes,

If the guy was actually able to die and come back to life once,

what makes you think he's going to want to do it again?

That shit probably hurt even if he knew what he was doing. 

That would be like a magician doing his 

grand finally twice just for the fuck of it. 

How do they celebrate it you may ask?

First they start off by carrying flaming objects

out of the water and onto the dry land. 

This should be done in reverse if you ask me. 

After a long and boring mass they have a feast.

Instead of having an Easter Bunny that gives you eggs,

they have an Easter baby Lamb.

The lamb gives you more than just eggs...

First it impales itself with a wooded pole and then

it roasts itself over hot coals while it lets little

kids poke it with a stick.

The night ends with the elder men dancing around

a sacred plastic cup filled with wine. 

UUMMPPAA!!!