Columbus Day or another National No Mail Day?

In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue,

In 1493 Columbus stopped to take a pee,

we all know the jingle.

What I love about the celebration of Columbus day

is that we celebrate him doing some thing monumental,

like discovering America, by taking the day off from work.

He treks across uncharted oceans of water and

discovered the greatest nation in the world and

this douche bag can't even deliver a

Sears Catalogue?

Ummmm...the 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper.

Dr. Pepper has been focusing all their advertising on the

fact that their soda has 23 different flavors.

Really?

I thought it only had one flavor, Dr. Pepper.

So I decided to read the bottle more closely and find out

what these other 22 delicious flavors were.

Here's some of them...

Carbonated water - bubbly like a fat guy farting in a hot tub.

Carmel color - who knew you could get flavor from a color?

Sodium - you can never have enough salt in your beverage.

Benzoate - i know, it that sounds like something my mom uses for dry skin, but it tastes great.

Malic acid - it burns sooo good.

Red 40 - its at least 40 times better than regular red.

I could go on listing more of the 23 flavors, but I'm getting so thirsty.

Breast Cancer Awareness.

This month is breast cancer awareness month.

And in honor of that and to help promote breast cancer awareness

My team of scientist and I have isolated "breast cancer"

That turd looking black stuff...

Instead of handing out pink ribbons we are offering

to infect you, for free, with a batch of breast cancer.

There's no better way to be aware of something than if you have it.

Just ask original Kiss drummer Peter Criss...

He announced this week that he recently had breast cancer.

The doctors removed one of his old man boobs

and he's been cancer free ever since.

So don't just wear a pink ribbon and pretend to care,

come on down to get infected and prove it.