Power Chair

Just watched a commercial for the "Power Chair."

Which is basically a motorized wheel chair for old people.

Have you ever seen a greater euphemism.

The commercial starts with a question, "With your freedom where would you go?"

Cause I guess with this ad they are targeting old prison inmates who are about to be released.

Then someone with a deep and excited voice says, "How about the Statue of Liberty!!!!" 

And they cut to a shot of an old guy circling the statue in his power chair.

Listen grandpa, I don't know how well your 2 inch rubber wheels are going to hold up on grass...and unless your power chair came with a flotation device you didn't use it to get to the statue. You used a boat, a power boat. 

I have no problem with old people having some machine doing all their work for them, but call a spade a spade.

It's not a fucking power chair that going's to help you see the world.

It's a wheelchair that goes 7 miles an hour.

And the only place it's taking your fat diabetic, gout ridden ass is one block down the street to the corner deli

so you can buy milk and cat food...and you don't even have a cat.

Then the commercial ends with a woman, that didn't look a day under 100, cruising through a park at sunset.

She looks at the camera and happily says, "My power chair barely cost me any money at all."

That's right, it didn't. 

But your poor son had to take a second mortgage out on his house to help you pay for it. 

Oh and grandma, those mexicans walking behind you aren't going to help you find your way home when that sun sets. 

They're going to club you in the back of the head with a stick and take your purse.

"Power Chair. See the world again."